It sounds like something from The Onion, but this weird news is no satire.

A 37-year-old woman, while intoxicated, punched, scratched and slid her butt along a $30 million Clyfford Still painting in the new Denver museum named after the abstract expressionist on December 29, 2011. She then proceeded to urinate on herself and the museum floor. In total, she caused $10,000 worth of damage. 

Carmen Tisch was sentenced to two years of probation for her crime on Thursday. As part of her sentence, she will have to undergo mental health treatment and receive help for alcohol dependency. She may also face a restitution hearing. After Tisch's arrest in December, her mother said that Tisch was an alcoholic. 

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Earlier this month, Tisch pled guilty to "felony criminal mischief" for attacking the nine-and-a-half-feet tall and 13-feet wide oil-on-canvas painting "1957-J No. 2" at the Clyfford Still Museum, which opened last December. Tisch had also been arrested a year ago on an armed robbery charge. 

Ironically, Still (who died in died in 1980) closely guarded his works, and most of the pieces in his museum had never been on public displays before. Whatever his reasons were for keeping his work private, he probably never imagined that they would encounter something like this.